Fairytales Aren't All They're Cracked Out To Be
by Lady Kick Your Butt
Summary: Jeffrey can relate to damsels in distress somewhat, being locked up in a tower your whole life is seriously overrated. All those fairytales lied though. Turns out life doesn't give you knights in shining armor. No, instead you get stuck with a peasant girl who's obsessed with the view your tower offers. Rapunzel AU that was supposed to be a one-shot.
1. Chapter 1

Jeffrey couldn't remember a time when he wasn't locked up in the tower. For all he knew, he had been born there and never had stepped foot on the ground below. Sometimes he felt like a prisoner, doomed to never know what grass of all things felt like or what the sensation of wading in the pond sixty feet under his window was like.

Just because Jeffrey had been trapped in a tower his whole life it didn't mean he just sat around and twiddled his thumbs. No, there was plenty to do. He had a multitude of books and the cleaning lady, Churchie, who visited twice a week had taught him how to knit and sew. He had a ball that he kicked around the room, imitating the children he had seen playing outside. And then there was his piano that he spent most of his time on. It was a source of comfort and without it he would have gone insane. Still, doing the same things over and over and having the same thoughts every day with nothing new occurring, Jeffrey was constantly in a state of boredom. The only time he got outside at all, was at night when he'd clamber up through the trap-door set in the ceiling and lie down on the roof and gaze upon the quiet, still, countryside. He liked to imagine what was going on inside of all the little peasant houses off on the other side of the vast field.

He didn't dare go out on his roof during the day for fear of getting seen. His mother would find out, panic about him going up there and close that refuge off somehow. Jeffrey had had it drilled it into his head from a young age that the outside was too dangerous for a child of such high status as himself. That he would be kidnapped or assassinated the second he left his safe tower. Jeffrey wished he were a peasant. How he envied the freedom of the people he'd peer at through the small windows set in his walls. They were only just wide enough for him to stick an arm through- not that he would ever do that, because it'd mean someone would see him. It was enough to watch the peasants farming the fields or the children playing in the meadow near the woods.

There weren't too many children. Just two families worth. There were the Geiger's sons, two big active boys. And then there was the Penderwicks, five girls and one boy. On a good day, when the wind was blowing right, Jeffrey could hear them laughing and shouting at one another. One time, one of the Penderwick girls and one of the Geiger brothers got into a battle of endurance with each other, daring one another to see who would venture closest to his tower. The girl was definitely more hard-headed than the older boy, she had gotten as far as the pond before the boy gave up and fearfully insisted that she was going too far.

Jeffrey didn't blame him, there was a high penalty waiting for anyone that was stupid enough to get that close to his tower, but it still didn't stop him from wishing they'd come even nearer. He could actually make out a bit of what they looked like for once. The girl had blonde hair that was a lot shorter than the pictures of girls he had in his books. The boy was dark-haired and broad-shouldered, and they were both lithe and tanned from all their time outside. Jeffrey wasn't too pale himself, because he kept the trapdoor in his room open as much as he could and it was right above where he sat at his piano. But he looked sickly compared to the two peasant children. He had never been more envious of anyone in his life.

...

Jeffrey's sixteenth birthday had been his worse one yet. His mother had stopped by- she visited every day for at least two hours- and given him yet more canvas and paints. Jeffrey had accepted them with as much faux delight as possible, knowing he'd never open the paints because in the confined space, because their strong smell always gave him a headache. His mother seemed content with his gratitude, which had given him the courage he needed to ask her if he could venture outside for the first time. He shouldn't have been so stupid.

Not only had she said no, but she had gone off onto one of her rants on safety. How it was all for his own good. How the outside world was terrible and ravenous and just waiting to pounce on poor, helpless, boys such as himself and tear them limb from limb. Jeffrey had tried to interject as mildly as possible, which had set her off demanding to know what had made him resort to such uncalled for behavior. It lasted for quite sometime, ending with her calling him ungrateful and leaving in a teary-eyed tiff.

Jeffrey was in a foul mood for the rest of the day, even Churchie bringing him his favorite meal and some new music wasn't enough to cheer him up. When he pulled himself up onto the roof that night too, nothing held the same appeal like it usually did. Everything was tinted with the fact that Jeffrey was certain he was doomed to the tower for the rest of his life. The sunset, something he had always found inviting and assuring, now taunted him with that far off sun slipping down the horizon he had always longed to reach. Somehow, he slipped off into a doze up there, tired from all his sulking of the day.

When Jeffrey's eyes blinked open, it was completely dark and he was unsettled. How long had he been asleep? The crick in his neck told him it had to have been at least a few hours. Jeffrey hoisted himself up groggily and stretched out his sore limbs, only to freeze mid-yawn at the sudden skittering noise coming from the side of his tower, just over the edge two feet away from him.

 _Assassins!_ Jeffrey's mother's repeated paranoia made him jump to the worst possibility. But when the sound didn't repeat itself, Jeffrey forced himself to breathe and be more rational. _A squirrel, probably._ Jeffrey was about to move forward and check just to assure himself, when with a swift, alarming abruptness, a head shot up over the edge of the roof only to freeze at the sight of him. For a moment, Jeffrey couldn't move. Then, he registered the situation and leaped back with a shriek of alarm. Whoever was clinging to the shingles of his roof, let go in their sudden shock and gave a yelp of panic.

Assassin or not, it was a person, and Jeffrey hastened to the edge in his horror. No way whoever it was, had survived the fall to the ground, and Jeffrey's stomach went sick at the idea of what he was going to see when he looked down. It took awhile for his eyes to make out anything in the pitch black, but a pained grunt- surprisingly close by- drew his gaze down ten feet to his left. He could just make out a shadowy figure dangling helplessly with one hand to his window below.

Jeffrey watched as the person scrabbled hurriedly and grabbed the window ledge with their other hand. He could hear the mysterious figure breathing in terrified gasps.

"The rope!"

The stranger's cry shook Jeffrey into action and cast his eyes to where the person had been climbing earlier. Their was a hook set into the ridge that ran around the whole of the roof. Jeffrey tugged the hook out and held it tightly as he swung the rope down towards the helpless intruder. Once...twice they let it pass by and then, on the third swing, he grasped for it with his left hand and caught hold just as his right hand lost its grip on the window ledge.

"I've got it!"

Jeffrey had already figured that out, his own alarm skyrocketing as the stranger's sudden weight had him struggling and setting his heels against the tower ridge, so he didn't follow him over.

"Stop swinging me arou-OOF!" The potential, but terrible assassin grunted as Jeffrey accidentally sent him slamming against the side of his tower.

"Sorry!" Jeffrey found himself wincing and finally finding a steady medium, his muscles straining to hold the person in suspension. Slowly, he could feel the rope tugging in a pattern. The intruder was climbing. Jeffrey knew he should probably drop it- the odds were not in his favor as to this being a friend. At best, this was a thief here to rob him blind, but Jeffrey couldn't bring himself to take the life of another. And then it was too late, the stranger had gripped the ridge and with a straining heave he hauled himself up. First with one arm, then the other followed, and with a pained gasp the thief/assassin/kidnapper had collapsed face down next to him, his face turned away from Jeffrey.

Jeffrey cast about for some kind of weapon, or something he could use to defend himself, sliding back slowly towards his trap-door.

"Blast it." The trespasser rolled over and flung an arm over his face. His voice sounded dismal, but even more relieving was its high tone. He sounded young, a teenager at best. Now, that Jeffrey could see his entire body now too, he could tell the stranger was around his own size, perhaps even smaller.

"What's wrong?" Jeffrey asked breathlessly, unable to help himself.

"I dropped my telescope." He lowered his arm dramatically, and Jeffrey got his first good look at him.

Oh. _Oh._ Her.

Jeffrey got his first good look at _her._


	2. Chapter 2

"You're not a murderer! You're a girl!" Jeffrey pointed, feeling like an idiot.

The girl frowned at his remark and hastened to sit up.

"Girls can be murderers too." She protested. She sounded so offended, Jeffrey took a cautious step back, crouching by his trap door. He was ready to jump down and lock it if she decided to pounce.

"So you _are_ a murderer?" Jeffrey asked warily.

"What? No!" The girl stood and brushed herself off as dignifiedly as possible. "I'm just pointing out that I _could_ be a murderer. Women can make just as effective murderers as men can, even better. To say otherwise is ridiculously sexist and misogynistic is all."

"So you're a thief then." Jeffrey accused.

"I don't know. Can girls not be thieves either?" She demanded, crossing her arms defiantly.

Jeffrey was so confused. Was this a trap? Was she trying to trap him up somehow? "Uhhhhh."

"Unbelievable!" She threw up her hands in annoyance. "Look, I wasn't trying to disturb you. I thought nobody really lived here, I've only ever seen two women come in this tower and they always leave before sundown."

"So you _were_ going to rob me." Jeffrey glared, not too scared anymore. He was confident that he could hold his own against the girl.

"No!" The girl shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Look. This is the highest spot around for miles, stuck in the middle of a nice clearing with the best vantage point to look at the sky." She sounded like that much should have been obvious to Jeffrey. Maybe it was? Was this something that happened to normal people all the time? Did they all make a habit of climbing towers in the middle of the night?

"So.." Jeffrey squinted, trying his hardest to follow.

"I was going to stargaze." The girl mumbled, rubbing the back of her neck.

Jeffrey stared. His head was spinning, and he wasn't sure if he was dreaming the whole mess up or not. It was all too ludicrous and far beyond the realm of reason. This was the only person he had talked to outside of his mother and Churchie, but all of those books he had read and reread had never prepared him for the bizarreness of this interaction. Maybe his mother was right about him not being ready for mingling amongst others.

"Pardon?" Jeffrey cleared his throat, after a long moment of silence.

"The stars." The girl motioned up at the night sky with a sigh. "I thought it'd be the perfect night to do this. Work on my charts. I suppose it doesn't matter- now that I dropped my telescope and scrolls during the...fiasco."

"You...were climbing a seventy foot tall tower...To stargaze?" Jeffrey stared. "You didn't know I was in here?"

"I've lived over across that field my whole life, and I've never seen a trace of you. I thought this tower was for storage or some illegal activities at the most." She shrugged. "So, yeah, wasn't even aware you existed until you nearly made me fall to my death."

"Nice save by the way." Jeffrey complimented.

"Thanks, I'm a good climber." She shrugged. "So what are _you_ doing here? Are you a thief?"

"What? No! I've lived here my whole life." Jeffrey couldn't have her alarming any authorities and drawing everyone's attention to him. It could bring every assassin in the area to him. Or worse, his mother would find out. She would blow her lid. _Bloody hell._ This was a mess of massive proportions, and Jeffrey was as good as dead now.

"How come I've never seen you?" She demanded.

"I stay inside all day." Jeffrey cast about for some way to prove he wasn't a thief. He had to convince her. He could feel panic rising in his chest with every passing second she looked at him like that. "I can prove it, see?"

Jeffrey opened the trap door and gestured down. The girl shot him a suspicious look, but she peered down carefully all the same.

"I can't _see_ anything. It's pitch black down there."

"Right. Hold on, and let me draw the curtains before I light the lantern." Jeffrey jumped down. Landing on his piano below and moving about in the dark on instinct alone, he drew the thick drapes across the two windows on opposite ends of the room. It took a couple of tries- because his hands were shaking- but he successfully lit the lantern, only to almost drop it in shock because the girl had jumped down after him without making a single sound.

She didn't notice his surprise or she ignored it, too busy looking around his room. "It _does_ looked lived in."

Jeffrey watched her prowl around, still trying to convince himself that she was really there.

"You've lived in here your whole life? How come you don't ever go outside?" She pressed a few of the keys of his piano carelessly before moving on.

"It's not safe for me out there." Jeffrey shrugged. "I've seen _you._ You're the one who wandered too close to my tower with that boy last year."

She raised an eyebrow at either his guarded explanation or his admittance to spying on her, but didn't say anything in favor of examining his towering bookshelves. Jeffrey took the moment of silence to actually look at her. Besides his mother and Churchie, Jeffrey had never seen anyone this close up before and she looked nothing like the princesses with long, golden hair and large, billowing dresses. True, her hair was golden, but it was cut on the short side and framed her face in a messy fashion. She was wearing boy clothes too: suspenders, a plain cloth shirt, brown trousers with dirt stains on the knees, and she was barefoot- probably explained how she was able to tread around so quietly.

It was all too surreal, and Jeffrey didn't know whether to think she was a phantom or figment of his imagination brought on by his terrible afternoon. Before this afternoon, he would never have so willingly let any stranger clamber down into his room. Now, he was filled with the knowledge that he was stuck in the tower indefinitely, and the feeling of helplessness made him want to rebel somehow. But still, he wasn't foolish enough to cross his mother completely. "Look, you can't tell anyone that I'm here, not even your family."

The girl turned to look at Jeffrey, as if taking his presence in for the first time. Jeffrey felt his stomach twist with anxiety under the gaze of eyes as blue as the sky on a clear day.

"Right, because all those assassins and kidnappers I know will be falling over themselves once I tell them about you." She snorted.

"There are people looking for me?!" Jeffrey was horrified. Oh god, this was a bad idea. He had just shown her the easiest way to sneak into his tower, she could probably sell him out for a high price without thinking twice. She was a peasant after all, and probably poor as dirt. His mother always said that peasants were motivated purely by greed. She probably made up that whole story about star-gazing too. Jeffrey wouldn't have known better, but now that he really pondered it it all seemed like a wild fabrication. It didn't sound too normal to risk falling to your death just to get closer to the stars.

"As far as I know, everyone was just like me up to fifteen minutes ago -blissfully unaware of your existence." She shook her head- probably at his naivety. "Relax, I don't exactly want my family knowing I trespassed and almost fell to my death off a tower that they've told me to steer clear of my whole life. Your secret's safe with me."

Jeffrey didn't really want to believe her, but he did. She sounded so sincere and authentic. But her truth- if it was the truth- was so bizarre. She was a piece of work, but Jeffrey couldn't help being in awe of her reckless bravado. He would never dare step foot out of his tower, and here she was in direct defiance of her parents. She was not only scaling dangerous, high, towers, but doing so just to look at the stars of all things.

Jeffrey shook himself as he noticed that the girl was looking at him, as if waiting for some kind of answer to her assurances. What was he supposed to say? What was she looking for? "Umm...thanks?"

"You're welcome. I'd say thank you for saving my life..." The girl hopped back onto his piano and up through the door in his roof with the agility of a cat, before looking back down on him. "..But then again, I never would have had to be saved if it wasn't for you in the first place; so, let's just call it even. Enjoy your tower, Rapunzel."

Then she was gone. Jeffrey hurried back up onto the roof after her, but she was already halfway down the side of his tower, practically sliding down the rope. The next instant she whipped the rope with practiced ease and the hook dislodged itself from the roof's edge. Jeffrey peered over the side and watched her examine a bag- that must have been what she had carried her telescope in. Then she looked up and must have seen him, because she offered him a jaunty salute before turning and galloping off through the woods in the direction of home.

Jeffrey collapsed onto his back and stared up at the stars that the girl had tried so hard to reach. None of that had really just happened, had it?

...

A part of Jeffrey thought she would come back, and for four nights in a row he waited on his roof to the point he'd fall asleep and only wake up when he heard the rooster crow on the farm in the distance. He gave up after the fifth night, when it was raining far too hard to step foot out on the wet shingles. The sixth night, though, Jeffrey woke to the sound of a clang and a rattle on his roof. Heart pounding in his chest, he sat up and listened more carefully. Sure enough, the sound of someone scrambling up his tower reached his ears. Jeffrey untangled himself from his sheets and hurried to clamber up onto his roof. She was pulling herself up over the edge, before he even had a chance to look over.

"You're real?" Jeffrey blurted out before he could stop himself.

"Do you want me to pinch you to prove it?" She seemed amused, reaching out before he could give her permission. Jeffrey yelped, when she pinched his forearm harder than necessary.

"Definitely real then." He grumbled and rubbed his arm. "I didn't think you'd come back."

"I'm curious by nature."

"Isn't your family going to notice you're gone?"

"Me? I'm always sneaking off at night to look at the stars. They're used to it by now." She pulled off the bag strapped over her shoulder and sat down. Completely ignoring Jeffrey's presence, she began to pull out scrolls, charcoal, and a tiny fold-up telescope.

"What are you doing?"

"Star-gazing." She looked at him like it was obvious.

"Just like that? You're not going to even ask me if it's alright for you to come up here?" She was bold, Jeffrey gave her that much. But her self-invitation and cool acceptance of his presence kind of annoyed him

"Are you going to throw me over the side again?"

"No. I just..." This was not how people behaved in his books. The girls in his books sat inside all day like him and certainly didn't invite themselves onto other peoples' roofs to stargaze of all things. "Is this how everyone else acts out in the real world?"

"The real world? You weren't jesting, were you? You actually haven't been outside of this tower before." She shook her head in amazement.

Jeffrey flushed in embarrassment. "My mother will never allow it."

She sat down and let out a low whistle as she began to dig around in her bag again. "I'd go insane, being cooped inside walls all day."

"I've never known anything else. You get used to it." That was a lie. There was days where Jeffrey was certain he was going insane. Days where he could hardly wait for night to come so he could get out and breathe. Only when he did get up there, it'd feel worse because everything he longed to touch, to feel, was out of his reach.

The girl was holding something out to him now, and Jeffrey looked at the apple in her hand in confusion before he took it. "Thanks?"

"You're welcome." She polished her own apple on her chest before taking a bite from it. "And, no, this isn't really how everyone acts out in the real world. My sisters tell me I need to tone it down. People think I'm a little too careless and wild."

"Why would they think that?" Jeffrey mumbled around a bite of apple. She scowled at him half-heartedly.

"You don't really mind if I come up here do you?" She sounded hesitant for the first time, and she was examining her scrolls intensely as if avoiding his eyes.

She was confusing, and Jeffrey wasn't too sure if he liked her or not just yet, but he thought about how much he had wanted her to come back. She was exciting and new, at least for now. He knew he'd end up regretting it if he said no. Although every part of him screamed "THIS IS WRONG!", he was starting to feel an almost adrenaline rush at the sense of doing something he knew he wasn't supposed to do. What his mother didn't know wouldn't kill her. Besides, the people in his books were doing this sort of thing all the time, and they never would have had all those adventures if they were too afraid to take some risks.

"You got a name?" Jeffrey didn't look at her either.

"Skye."

 _Of course_. Jeffrey choked on his apple at how ridiculously fitting it was.

"What's yours, Rapunzel?"

"Jeffrey." He gave her an exaggerated half-bow, a poor imitation of all those charming princes he had read about. "A pleasure to meet you."

Skye scoffed at that and busied herself with aiming her telescope at the night sky, taking their conversation as a confirmation that she could stay.

Jeffrey supposed it was.

...

 **So this story is getting more reception than I thought it would. Sorry it took so long to update it, this one is a little tough to write because my first impulse is to make it as humorously ridiculous as possible, but it's supposed to be a bit more serious than my other stuff. I'll do my best for you guys, and I'll try to do a better job at updating this one. I have a feeling it's going to be kind of lengthy.**

 **tinyteddies: Thanks, I'm glad that you approve of this au. I've wanted to do a fairy tale au for sometime, but it took awhile to think of a suitable premise. Thanks for jumping on board another wild ride with me.**

 **Nijibrush: I was surprised I didn't think of this story sooner, honestly. It's in part a tribute to Jane's Sabrina story in the first book, and I kind of have to chuckle at my accidental parallel. Jeffrey fits the princess trope mold to a t. Overprotective parent, horrible step-parent, and being isolated from most of the real world. Skye's honor-bound and chivalrous mind-set fits the scrappy rogue/prince cliché pretty well too.**

 **GM01: Thanks for your comment and messages. It was great to discuss the themes behind this story with someone who got it. I'm glad that you can relate to the story, and I always love talking to you.**

 **Willow Lark: Thank you! I hope this chapter keeps you hooked on for the rest of the story.**

 **Readwriteedit: Ha, thanks it feels good to update again too, I always love hearing from you.**

 **To that one slightly impatient Guest that pushed me into finishing this chapter at last: Okay, okay, you win. Here you go, stranger. Glad you like the story enough to comment twice. Sometimes I need the shove.**


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